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19 November 2010 @ 11:14 pm
Fanmix : Looking For Alaska : That Which the Sea Breaks Against  
Title: That Which the Sea Breaks Against
Fandom: Looking for Alaska by John Green
Subject: General, Miles/Alasaka
Notes: This is a fanmix for a young adult novel Looking for Alaska. There will be SPOILERS if you haven't read it, in which case I don't even know why you'd be here, so yeah. . .

Obligatory short rant about the book, feel free to scroll past it.
  1. I cannot believe there aren't more mixes for this book. For one thing, I know it's really popular among ya lit. and I didn't even want to make a mix, but I couldn't not. It practically mixed itself.
  2. The reason I didn't want to make a mix? I promised myself I wouldn't. Because, the thing is, I didn't even like the book all that much-WAIT. Before you guys lynch me, let me explain myself. There were many, many things about it I adored. The characters were generally likable (if a bit unrealistic & over-dramatic at times) and the writing was gorgeous and the narrator was an philosophical teen misfit, which is my favorite kind. The only thing that really bothered me was Alaska herself. I thought she was kind of a stereotypical bitch. I heard so much hype about this book that it really got me fired up and I was just expecting to love her, but, as Alaska told Pudge, "You love the girl who makes you laugh and shows you porn and drinks wine with you. You don't love the crazy, sullen bitch."
  3. For anyone who hasn't read this book, I don't want to turn you off of it. I was a little disappointed when I finished it, but now that I've had time to think about it and take it in for what it was, rather than what I thought it was going to be, I can appreciate that it was a good read. I would recommend reading it before you listen to the mix, even if you already know what happens.

{ a Looking for Alaska mix }


one hundred thirty-six days before) FRIENDS BAND OF SKULLS
all my life i've been searchin' for something, something i can't put my finger on
all my life i've been wastin', wastin'. wastin' all my money, all my time. all the time that i'm waitin', waitin', waitin' for the moment you are mine
“"Francois Rabelais. He was this poet. And his last words were 'I go to seek a Great Perhaps.' That's why I'm going. So I don't have to wait until I die to start seeking a Great Perhaps."”

one hundred twenty-eight days before) MEET VIRGINIA TRAIN
she doesn't own a dress. her hair is always a mess. you catch her stealin', she won't confess. she's beautiful.

“And now is as good a time as any to say that she was beautiful. In the dark beside me, she smelled of sweat and sunshine and vanilla, and on that thin-mooned night I could see little more than her silhouette except for when she smoked, when the burning cherry of the cigarette washed her face in pale red light. But even in the dark, I could see her eyes - fierce emeralds. She had the kind of eyes that predisposed you to supporting her every endeavor.”

you are a getaway car, a rush of blood to the head, but me, i'm just the covers on top of your bed.
strike us like matches 'cause everyone deserves the flames. we only do it for the scars and stories, not the fame.

“I wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their intensity. But for now, at least I knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails.”


one hundred days before) ARE YOU SATISFIED? MARINA & THE DIAMONDS
people like to tell you what you're gonna be. it's not my problem if you don't see what i see, and i do not give a damn if you don't believe. my problem, it's my problem that i never am happy. it's my problem it's my problem on how fast i will succeed.
are you satisfied with an average life?
nobody can stop me 'cause it's my problem if i wanna pack up and run away. it's my business if i feel the need to smoke and drink and sway. it's my problem, it's my problem if i feel the need to hide, and it's my problem if i have no friends and feel i want to die

"No," she said, and I couldn't tell at first whether she was reading my kiss-obsessed mind or responding to herself out loud. She turned away from me, and softly, maybe to herself, said, "Jesus, I'm not going to be one of those people who sits around talking about what they're gonna do. I'm just going to do it. Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia."
"Huh?" I asked.
"You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you'll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present."


one hundred days before) HURRICANE SOMETHING CORPORATE
just standing there with your smile blinding your eyes from seeing my face as i'm dyin' to figure out a girl. but she drifts so far away. i'm on her coast. oh, maybe i should stay and map around your world.

"Sometimes I don't get you," I said.
She didn't even glance at me. She just smiled toward the television and said, "You never get me. That's the whole point."


forty-nine days before) OBVIOUSLY MCFLY
'cause obviously, she's outta my league. but how can i win? she keeps draggin' me in, and i know i never will be good enough for her.

“I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I was hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was hurricane.”


i don't like you, but i love you. seems that i'm always thinkin' of you. oh, ho, ho, you treat me badly. i love you madly.

“I wanted to like booze more than I actually did (which is more or less the precise opposite of how I felt about Alaska).”

that blissful night i knelt between your legs. bewteen our heads. between our hearts.
i was a faker before you.

“"This is so fun," she whispered, "but I'm so sleepy. To be continued?" She kissed me for another moment, my mouth straining to stay near hers, and then she moved from beneath me, placed her head on my chest, and fell asleep instantly.”


speeding into the horizon. dreaming of the sirens. wishing for broken glass on a highway. it could be so easy. rhythm, rhythm of an engine always makes me empty. i see the headlights coming at me. can't help but wonder.

“We did not say: Don't drive. You're drunk.
We did not say: We aren't letting you in that car when you are upset.
We did not say: We insist on going with you.
We did not say: This can wait until tomorrow. Anything—everything—can wait.

so why'd you have to go? is there something i could say to make you turn around? 'cause nights like these i wish i'd said 'don't go.'
try as i might, i just can't handle this. i lost myself inside a drunken kiss, and i, all that i wanted was to walk you home.

“All night, I felt paralyzed into silence, terrorized. What was I so afraid of, anyway? The thing had happened. She was dead. She was warm and soft against my skin, my tongue in her mouth, and she was laughing, trying to teach me, make me better, promising to be continued. And now.”

leaning now into the breeze, remembering sunday, he falls to his knees. they had breakfast together, but two eggs don't last like the feeling of what he needs.
oh, i can see now that all of these clouds are following me in my desperate endevor to find my whoever, wherever she may be.

“And now she was colder by the hour, more dead with every breath I took. I thought: That is the fear: I have lost something important, and I cannot find it, and I need it. It is fear like if someone lost his glasses and went to the glasses store and they told him that the world had run out of glasses and he would just have to do without.”

she smiled in a big way, the way a girl like that smiles when the world is hers, and she held your eyes. out in the breezeway, down by the shore, in the lazy summer. and she pulled you in, and she bit your lip, and she made you hers. she looked deep into you as you lay together, quiet in the grass of dusk and summer. but you've already lost. but you've already lost. but you've already lost when you only had barely enough to hang on.
she combed your hair. she kissed your teeth and she made you better than you'd been before. she told you bad things you wished you could change in the lazy summer. and she told you laughin' down to her core, so she would not cry as she lay in your lap. she said, “nobody here can live forever,” quiet in the grass of dusk and summer. but you've already lost. but you've already lost. but you've already lost when you only had barely enough to hang on.
and she sang, “no one is alone the way you are alone,” and you held her looser than you would've if you ever could've known. some things tie your life together, slender threads and things to treasure. days like that should last and last and last. but you've already lost. but you've already lost. but you've already lost when you only had barely enough of her to hang on.

“She taught me everything I knew about crawfish and kissing and pink wine and poetry. She made me different.
I lit a cigarette and spit into the creek. "You can't just make me different and then leave," I said out loud to her. "Because I was fine before, Alaska. I was fine with just me and last words and school friends, and you can't just make me different and then die." For she had embodied the Great Perhaps—she had proved to me that it was worth it to leave behind my minor life for grander maybes, and now she was gone and with her my faith in perhaps. I could call everything the Colonel said and did "fine." I could try to pretend that I didn't care anymore, but it could never be true again. You can't just make yourself matter and then die, Alaska, because now I am irretrievably different, and I'm sorry I let you go, yes, but you made the choice. You left me Perhapsless, stuck in your goddamned labyrinth. And now I don't even know if you chose the straight and fast way out, if you left me like this on purpose. And so I never knew you, did I? I can't remember, because I never knew.”

one hundred thirty-six days after) HOW TO SAVE A LIFE THE FRAY
where did I go wrong? i lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness, and i would have stayed up with you all night, had i known how to save a life.

“There were so many of us who would have to live with things done and things left undone that day. Things that did not go right, things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future. If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can't know better until knowing better is useless.”

one hundred thirty-six days after) BIXBY CANYON BRIDGE DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE
and i want to know my fate if i keep up this way.
and then it started it getting dark and i trudged back to where the car was parked, no closer to any kind of truth, as i must assume is the case with you.

"So, I know she forgives me, just as I forgive her. Thomas Edison's last words were 'It's very beautiful over there'. I don't know where there is, but I believe it's somewhere, and I hope it's beautiful."

preview on grooveshark
(minus The Beatles song, 'cause I couldn't find it)

download zip.

If you like what you hear, COMMENT PLZ check my mix tag for more!
And feel free to add me, as there are many more mixes on the way~

Current Music: Hurricane - Something Corporate
(Deleted comment)
itstaysgolditstaysgold on November 21st, 2010 04:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you! :D
Josie: skins. emily. fragile.the_windowbird on November 24th, 2010 07:41 am (UTC)
This REALLY needed to happen. ♥
itstaysgolditstaysgold on November 24th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC)
I agree, I wish there were more :)
sistergrimmelsistergrimmel on November 25th, 2010 01:52 am (UTC)
This is great! I was depressed there were no mixes for this BOOK.
itstaysgolditstaysgold on November 25th, 2010 02:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
( I believe there are a couple others in fanmix if you check the tags, in case you're interested :) )
SnapCracklePop: Bradley In Blackgarnetice on November 25th, 2010 04:44 am (UTC)
So I thought the art on this was gorgeous but I have recently banned myself from dl-ing fanmixes. And then I saw the old school Say Anything song and my resolve crumpled, so I kind of hate you, but think you're awesome at the same time. I'm conflicted.
itstaysgolditstaysgold on November 25th, 2010 03:17 pm (UTC)
Oh yay a Say Anything fan :DDD Their old school stuff is great.
Thank you, I'm pretty proud of that cover art, myself. And sorry for conflicting you, (not really) but your comment kind of made my day :)
the boy who would be king: evan & anna ;; stay stillchrysanthemums on November 26th, 2010 02:55 am (UTC)
These songs are absolutely perfect for this book. I recently finished it, and I loooved it.

Great job! :)
itstaysgolditstaysgold on November 26th, 2010 03:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks, glad you think so! :D
I work, I function like i'm a girl.okelay on December 1st, 2010 03:19 am (UTC)
this is amazing
great choice of songs, and I love how you've added quotes.
and I love how to save a life.
itstaysgolditstaysgold on December 1st, 2010 09:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you, glad you like it!
.french_latte on June 7th, 2011 02:31 am (UTC)
this was great, i'm so glad i found this
absolutely wonderful
thanks for making it :)
itstaysgolditstaysgold on June 7th, 2011 03:00 pm (UTC)
It was my pleasure <3 Thanks for the comment~!
(also, that icon is absolutely adorable!)
(no subject) - shanaguqi on June 9th, 2011 01:04 pm (UTC) (Expand)
itstaysgolditstaysgold on June 9th, 2011 04:26 pm (UTC)
Re: Классный блог!
kitty »: ;katy rose still enchanteddaytonameth on April 3rd, 2012 05:10 pm (UTC)
gorgeous songs! :) I completely agree... I'm in love with the book, but not totally in love with Alaska ♥